


Just the Same

by PeppyDragon



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Explicit Language, F/F, Hurt, Post-Before The Storm, Pre-LiS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-17 16:47:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14193336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeppyDragon/pseuds/PeppyDragon
Summary: Chloe knows she should accept the sudden emptiness in Arcadia Bay - that she should grow up and move on - but Chloe has never been good at letting things go.





	Just the Same

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything! If you would any warnings or tags added, feel free to let me know!
> 
> Warnings: Slight spoilers for the plot of BtS and the original LiS. Language, snark, and angst. Please enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> "So do your worst to me, test my loyalty -  
> I will pass with distinction of first degree.  
> I lost my mind to you somewhere down the line that you drew -  
> But I only have myself to blame  
> 'Cause I still love you just the same."  
> [-"Just the Same," by Bruno Major](https://open.spotify.com/track/3ujyLkOjxjuxQT4mlDKug2?si=Hy5qJVbjRBSw1RpnHjthrQ)

* * *

 

  
Chloe's fingers were trembling; they'd been doing that more recently. She swallowed the lump in her throat and tightened her fingers around the cracked steering wheel, throat dry and eyes burning.

It might have been the pot she'd been smoking; the stub of the tiny tip and paper still smoldered in the ashtray she'd glued to the dash. It might have been the sudden attack of tears that kept swimming up out of nowhere, making her vision blur. The farmland around her and the empty State Route made her teeth clench, jaw aching.

She was so sick of staring at nothing. She was so sick of having time to think. She wanted lights and vehicles and shady motels - she wanted to just fade into the noise.

Chloe looked into the rearview, swallowing. Oregon was back there somewhere, over 2,000 miles away. And here she was on a lonely stretch of road in the middle of rural northern Ohio. She had thought about stopping for gas and a nap in Toledo; perhaps checking out the Great Lakes, perhaps finding a nice girl, or boy, and settling down. But that wasn't Chloe; not anymore. She wasn't the kid who believed in perfect parents, best friends forever, or true love. Not anymore.

It was hard to stay starry-eyed when everyone left. Her dad. Max.

Rachel.

Chloe's breath hitched, the lump in her throat growing, choking her. She reached for her pack of cigarettes, forgoing the hastily rolled joints and sticking with nicotine. The harsh sting and the cool menthol distracted her enough that she forgot how her heart was crumbling in her chest.

"Fuck you, Rachel," Chloe muttered, smoke streaming from her lips as she did. _"Fuck."_

She was gone - just like that. One day she was there, planning their getaway. A road trip, she had suggested with that mysterious smirk of hers. New York's bright lights, a musical or two, and cheap takeout. And then SoCal where she could model and they could lounge on the beach. _I'll have to fight surfers off of you,_ Rachel had teased. Chloe hadn't pointed out that Rachel was the bigger catch because Rachel had a way of making Chloe feel beautiful. Rachel had a way of making everything beautiful.

The farmland slowly gave way to the edge of Lake Erie, the rocky coast sloping toward the water appealing and familiar. It looked like Arcadia Bay if she squinted hard enough, though the lonely lighthouse wasn't on a towering bluff.  _Our lighthouse,_ Chloe snorted, flicking ash out of her open window and slowing the truck to a mandatory 30mph crawl. 

Her truck made a little rattle that tore her from her reverie. Chloe glanced down at the gauges; she needed gas, and her coolant was probably leaking. She hadn't realized how close the rattletrap was to overheating, but now Chloe understood what the sharp smell in the cabin was.

She pulled into the closest gas station, shutting off the engine and rummaging through the massive pile of loose clothing on the bench seat. She found her wallet, the duct-taped thing smooth against her sweating fingers. The breeze off of the lake was doing very little to cool the oppressive summer heat.

Chloe slid out of the rusted vehicle and looked out over the sparkling blue water. It was less than half-mile away. Maybe Chloe would change into her bathing suit in the gas station bathroom and submerge herself in the lapping water.

Maybe she'd never come up.

Chloe shook the thought away, biting her lower lip and starting up the gas pump. She had to be running low on funds, but the pump accepted her card and gas began to chug into her thirsty tank.

She took the moment to top off the coolant reservoir, frowning at the engine and hoping it would get her to New York before puttering out. Chloe sighed and jogged into the gas station, ignoring the attendant's greeting. She peed quickly before snagging a six-pack of beer, two half-liter sodas, and more small candy packs than she could easily carry. The attendant watched her, amused, as she brought the overflowing items to the register and dropped them unceremoniously on the counter.

"That it?" he asked.

"And a pack of those Blue Royals, menthol, shorts."

He narrowed his eyes at her, and then glanced at the beer. "Sure, but I need some ID."

Chloe forced a smile, the first one she'd plastered on in days. "Oh, shit, I think I forgot it at home," she lied easily, tilting her head and batting her lashes slowly. It was a trick she'd picked up from Rachel.

Rachel.

All roads led back to Rachel.

"Sorry, I can't j-"

"Jesus, dude, seriously?" Chloe snapped, the will to pretend disappearing. Rachel was always so good at keeping up her facades. She was such a good actress. Maybe her love for Chloe was fake. Maybe she'd never cared for Chloe at all. "Look, just drop the beer but at least let me have the cigarettes."

He looked like he might say no, but he grabbed the short box of cigs and rang them - and the sodas and candy - up while sliding the beer out of Chloe's reach. "Fifteen twenty-one."

Chloe fumbled with her dwindling cash and handed over a twenty. She waited for her change anxiously and grabbed her bag of goodies a little more forcefully than she should have. "Thanks," she muttered, sounding less than thankful. "Dick."

She left the gas station but came to a halt just outside, her stomach bottoming out. A police cruiser had parked behind her truck, and the officer was in the middle of glancing through the window, muttering something into the two-way on his shoulder.

Chloe thought about running, but there was no point in that; she certainly didn't want to be stranded in Cleveland, not when New York was calling her. "Can I help you?" she asked as she came toward the truck, the officer narrowing his eyes at her.

"Chloe Price?" he asked.

Chloe's brow furrowed. "...Yeah? Did I blow through a stop sign or something? Because otherwise, this is an illegal search."

He chuckled. "Only without probably cause, miss, which I have. This truck had been reported stolen by an at-risk runaway."

"What?" Chloe hissed. "Runaway?! I'm 19 fucking years -- _Jesus,_ this is so fucking --  _this is my truck!"_

"Registration?"

Chloe blinked. Fuck. "I... left it at home?"

"Insurance card?" he pressed. When Chloe didn't answer, he sighed. "Come on, kid. Seriously?"

Chloe stood there, a bag of teeth-rotting sugar bumping against her knee. "Who reported it?" She didn't need to hear the answer; there was only one person who would go so far to ruin her life. David. It had to be goddamn David.

"Says here that it was your father." he glanced at clipboard he was carrying. "David Madsen?"

Of course. The expectation couldn't stop Chloe from bristling, though. "That fucker is not my father."

The cop didn't look apologetic or impressed - he looked impatient. "Backseat, Price. The truck's registered as stolen; I gotta hold you until your dad shows up."

"What the fuck, man?!" Chloe snapped. "You're seriously arresting me right now?"

"We're not arresting you, Madsen hasn't pressed any charges, but you _are_ listed as at-risk-"

"This is my truck! He has no right t-to-" her voice broke, the anger giving way, the grief swelling in her chest. "I'm 19," she repeated, the words sounding pitiful. "You can't take me in unless I've broken a law, or, or-"

With a sigh, the officer shrugged. "I don't wanna take you in, kid, but your father -  _Madsen_ \- reported that you were a danger to yourself."

_"What the actual fuck-"_

"You're on a suicide watch. I can't let you just walk off - what if you ended up dead? What if someone else did? My hands are tied here, Miss Price. Now you can help us both out by cooperating, letting me take you in, and getting a psych eval. It's quick and painless, I promise, and if they find nothing wrong, then we can let you go. Or you can wait for your -- _Madsen_ to show up."

She swallowed and floundered for a moment, trying to get herself together, trying not to think about how she was getting arrested in fucking Ohio. "What about my-"

"We'll bring the truck to impound," he answered. He sounded as if Chloe wasn't the first 'runaway' to show up in his town. "Backseat, Price. Leave the bag."

"C'mon, man," she groaned. "I haven't eaten in, like, 18 hours."

"We'll feed you."

"This is bullshit," she grumbled.

"Hey, I can cuff you if that'd make this easier. I don't want to, and it sure as shit won't look good on your eval, but whatever it takes to get you in that car," the officer added. His brow furrowed just like Chloe's father's used to when he was disappointed with her. "I don't think you'd like spending a week in a ward, and that's what will happen if you act like an idiot. Not to mention losing your license and getting fined out the ass for no documentation on this truck. Now get in the car. Please," he added as an afterthought.

Chloe sighed and opened the passenger door of her truck, tossing her bag inside. And then she stooped into the squad car, letting out a trembling sigh. All she wanted was to get to New York. All she wanted was to see if Rachel was there, to see if Rachel was happy without her.

 

* * *

 

Chloe had been dreaming about Rachel. It wasn't a strange occurrence - the blonde entered her thoughts every waking and sleeping moment.

But this dream had been different. Chloe had wandered through the junkyard, calling out for Rachel, knowing she was there but unable to find her. The soft ground dipped with each step as Chloe jogged toward their hiding spot, their little shelter away from the rest of the world.

When she entered the dim concrete shack, Rachel was there, her back to Chloe, her hair up in a messy bun as she taped flyers to the wall, the garish yellow text hurting Chloe's sun-spotted eyes. "Rachel," she breathed.

Rachel turned, her hazel eyes sparkling and her smile dimpling her right cheek. "Hey! Like it?" she asked, stepping aside so that the flyers were more visible.

 **VORTEX CLUB**  
**BLOCK PARTY**  
**03.28.13**

"Please don't go," Chloe whispered. She wasn't sure what she meant by it, but it seemed like the only thing worth saying.

Rachel chuckled and tilted her head to the side. "Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are when you're in the dark?"

And then Chloe woke up to fluorescent lights and a police officer opening the bullpen. "Your folks are here."

Chloe sighed and stumbled to her feet, disoriented and foggy. She didn't even have the strength to flip off a guy who catcalled her from the other end of the mostly-empty holding cell. She was just so tired. So tired of everything. She felt like lying down on the polished floor and letting the world wash over and around her.

Maybe they'd missed something in her psychological evaluation. Maybe she deserved to be in a ward.

"Chloe, heaven help me," Joyce said as they met in the gleaming main lobby, wrapping Chloe in her arms. "What were you thinking?"

"She wasn't thinking," David's voice grumbled from behind Joyce. Chloe couldn't see him around her mother's frizzy, unbound hair. "As usual."

Joyce pulled back, narrowing her eyes at Chloe. "You're lucky they aren't tossing you in jail for this."

"Does she realize you had to pay $160 for her stupidity? Not to mention the gas money, having to take off work - all to save her from her own reckless galavanting. Shoulda just left her here."

Chloe glanced around Joyce, glowering at David. "Who the fuck do you think you-"

"Chloe," Joyce snapped. Chloe pursed her lips and crossed her arms, narrowed eyes never leaving David's stupid fucking mustache. Joyce sighed and ran a hand over her face. She looked exhausted, and her eyes were red-rimmed from sleeplessness and crying. "Go wait out front. They brought your truck around."

"Mom-" Chloe tried.

"Go," Joyce repeated, firmer, and shoved Chloe's keys into her hand.

So she did. Chloe got into her truck, the inside smelling like cheap chocolate. She picked up the bag of goodies; the soda was hot, and the chocolates had melted into sticky globs in their packages. Chloe drank four huge gulps of the cola, wanting to gag, before starting the truck.

Her mother came out a few moments later, and, to Chloe's surprise, opened the truck's passenger door. Joyce made a soft, annoyed noise and slid Chloe's clothing pile to the middle of the bench. "David's taking the car back. Gives us some time to... talk."

Chloe said nothing, shifting the truck into drive.

They made it to I-90 before Joyce finally spoke, three hundred miles later. "What's going on, Chloe?"

Chloe bit the inside of her cheek, resisting the urge to sob _._

"Chloe, I can't help if I don't know the problem."

"You can't help anyway," Chloe snapped, her voice leaving a ringing silence in its wake. The quiet was deafening, so much so that it broke Chloe. "Rachel left." When Joyce said nothing, she continued, throat swelling, fingers tightening on the steering wheel. "She just left. She's gone. Rose doesn't know where she is; she didn't tell anyone anything. She just...."

Joyce sighed gently, like a balloon slowly deflating. "She's wild, Chloe. I'm... I'm sorry. I know she means so much to you, but that doesn't excuse... Chloe, what were you thinking? Disappearing like this?"

"She wanted to go to New York, alright?" Chloe bit out. "We were supposed to take a road trip, we were supposed to take a scenic drive to New York, and then we were going to move to California. We were supposed to -- supposed to...." Her eyes welled up, and the tears finally fell.

"Oh, baby," Joyce whispered, reaching out to put a hand on Chloe's arm. Chloe jerked away, and Joyce didn't push it. "I'm sorry, Chloe."

Chloe wiped at her face with one hand, the other trembling on the wheel. "Why would she -- she's just gone," she choked out. Now that the words had started, they wouldn't stop. "What did I do? Where did I -- fuck! Jesus, _fuck."_

Joyce said nothing, but her hand returned and rested on Chloe's shoulder. Chloe didn't shrug it off; she was too weak. She was so tired. She wanted to sleep; she wanted to scream. She wanted to burn the clothes Rachel had left in Chloe room. She wanted to bury her face in Rachel's coconut-scented hair and forgive her for everything.

Rachel and her flair for dramatics. Chloe hadn't realized how much the girl had rubbed off on her.

"I love her," Chloe whispered.

"I know, baby."

"Why do I still love her? Why does she get to - get to run off and just leave me here, and I'm still - I'm still here, I'm stilling waiting for her, I'm still in love with her."

There was nothing Joyce could say, and she knew it. There was nothing anyone could say.

"I'm going to find her."

Chloe couldn't see Joyce through her tear-filled peripheral, but Joyce tightened her hand on Chloe's shoulder. "I know you will." Joyce's tone said everything she wouldn't - that Rachel had never been the angel Chloe made her out to be. That Chloe should lick her wounds and let the pain pass; that she should let Rachel go.

Chloe only wished she _could_ let her go. There was no other way Rachel could hurt her worse than she had when she left town without a word. Rachel had warned her, back when they first met. _Don’t be surprised, Chloe, if one day, I’m just out of here._

But that had been years ago; they had been young and full of angst. Things had gotten better. Hadn't they?

 _You're going to find her,_ Chloe promised herself, swallowing back the tears. _And then everything will make sense again._


End file.
